Too Emotional

Last night, my friends saw this accident on the road and decided to pull over and see if the victim need any help. This is the spirit that is worth praising. Remembering a few years back, my friend Prem told me about this incident he saw. There is a group of people beating up a poor chap. Of course personal dispute, we outsider shouldn't meddle butt the use of violence is definitely wrong. He said 'How do we expect these people to defend the country in time of war, when in time of peace they are hurting one another.'

This made me think whether my effort to defend the country is worthwhile or not. How can I defend this country from external threats when there are people hurting their fellow countryman. Its like no matter how well I tried to protect the surface, the core is already rotten. Sometimes I think whether or not should I continue to pursue a life in the public service. Trying to be impartial as not everyone is like those people. There are those that selflessly help others regardless of race, language or religion.

At times I felt that I am too emotional to be in the public service as I think of things through a more emotional channel than the rational ones. There are recent event although short, they did play a significant part in my growing up process. From all these I realised that I am not capable enough to perform important task or to be a decision maker. Maybe after I had overcome all these emotional hurdle then I will consider taking on such task.

PS. Regardless how much I still like you, I just want you to be happy. I respect your decision.